JILLSHOUSE.ORG. BRENDA SOLOMON. APPLAUD AND CHRISTIANS AT AOL AFFINITY GROUP. >> WELCOME. CAN YOU HEAR ME. I AM MARTH LA-MONTE. I AM HERE AND I WANT TO WELCOME YOU. I AM AN HR MANAGER AT AOL. I DO-LEAD THE APPLAUD BUSINESS RESOURCE GROUP AND I AM THE MOTHER OF TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. MY OLDEST DAUGHTER IS SEVERELY DISABLED. I AM GOING TO TRY TO GET THROUGH THIS WITHOUT GETTING TEARY EYED. I SPOKE TO BRENDA IN ADVANCED. I AM SO THRILLED SHE'S HERE. BRENDA SOLOMON IS HERE FROM JILL'S HOUSE. JILL'S HOUSE IS NAMED AFTER HER DAUGHTER. THREE BOYS AND A GIRL. HER YOUNGEST IS JILL. JILL HAS SEVERE DISABILITIES. I AM THRILLED TO TELL YOU ABOUT HER STORY. I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT BRENDA. SHE IS ON THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS. SHE AND HER HUSBAND, WHO IS THE MINISTER AT MCLAINE BIBLE CHURCH HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE STRUGGLES AND JOYS OF HAVING A CHILD WITH DISABILITY. SHE IS HERE TO TELL US ABOUT THE STRUGGLES AND JOYS AND TO TALK TO US ABOUT JILL'S HOUSE, THAT IS BEING BUILT IN MCCLEAN THAT IS A RESPITE CENTER FOR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES FOR CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES SO THEY CAN LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN OVERNIGHT AND GET A WELL NEEDED BREAK AS I KNOW AS A PARENT OF CHILDREN WITH DISABILITY. WE WERE TALKING TO ANOTHER WOMAN FROM APPLAUD LEANNE. SHE HAS A SON WITH DISABILITIES. SHE SAID I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. IT IS HARD. EVERY DAY IS A STRUGGLE AND EVERY DAY IS FILLED WITH JOY. WE DO IT BECAUSE WE CAN GET BREAKS HERE AND THERE. WE CAN COME TO WORK AND GET SATISFACTION OUT OF OUR WORK. I WILL NOT TAKE UP BRENDA'S TIME TALKING ABOUT JILL'S HOUSE, I JUST WANT TO WELCOME YOU AND THANK YOU FOR COMING. AND LET'S WELCOME BRENDA TO THE STAGE. THANK YOU. (APPLAUSE). >> CAN YOU ALL HEAR ME OKAY? GOOD. FIRST OF ALL, I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME HERE. AND FOR INVITING THE STAFF OF JILL'S HOUSE TO JUST SHARE WITH YOU A LITTLE BIT THIS MORNING, OR AT LUNCHTIME. I GUESS IT IS AFTERNOON. ABOUT MY JOURNEY OVER THE LAST 15 YEARS. BUT BEFORE I DO ANYTHING, I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAK TO YOU ALL. I'M SURE YOU DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD HEAR A CONFESSION FROM A PREACHER'S WIFE TODAY. BUT I CONFESS TO YOU THAT 15 YEARS AGO, I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO COME TO A LUNCHEON AND HEAR A WOMAN TALK ABOUT HER CHILD WITH A DISABILITY. IT WASN'T BECAUSE I DIDN'T CARE, BECAUSE I DID. I THINK MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR I COULDN'T FIX IT. YOU KNOW, WE HAVE ALL WALKED PAST PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES, AND WE ALL KNOW OH, I SHOULDN'T STARE. AND WE JUST LOOK THE OTHER WAY BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT THEM TO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE. WE ALL DO IT. YOU KNOW, THE THANKSGIVING OF 1992, I COULDN'T LOOK THE OTHER WAY ANY LONGER. JILL HAD PROBABLY ONE OF THE WORST DAYS. SHE WAS 10 MONTHS OLD AT THAT TIME. SHE HAD 19 GRAND MAL SEIZURES THAT DAY. WE HAD FRIENDS THAT BROUGHT IN THANKSGIVING DINNER FOR US BECAUSE THEY UNDERSTOOD THE PRESSURE AND THE INCREASING STRESS THAT WE WERE UNDER. BUT EVEN WITH THAT, WE COULDN'T SIT DOWN TO ENJOY OUR THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH OUR BOYS. MY HUSBAND OR MYSELF WOULD GO BACK IN HER BEDROOM AND WAIT FOR THE NEXT SEIZURE. THEN WE WOULD COME OUT AND SWITCH AND CHANGE GUARD DUTY. AND PRETEND, WITH OUR BOYS THAT EVERYTHING WAS OKAY. BECAUSE WE WANTED THEM TO THINK THAT WE WEREN'T HURTING SO BADLY. BUT EVENTUALLY, WE ENDED UP CALLING 911 AND OUR DAUGHTER WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL AND SHE SPENT SEVERAL DAYS IN ICU. THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING OF A LONG JOURNEY. LITTLE DID I KNOW WHAT WAS AHEAD FOR US. AND WHAT GOD WAS REALLY GONNA TEACH US ABOUT THIS NEW COMMUNITY THAT WE HAD BEEN THROWN INTO. NOT BY CHOICE. BUT WE HAD REALLY GREAT THINGS TO LEARN AND REAL BLESSINGS IN SPITE OF THE HURTS. LET ME TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT OUR FAMILY BEFORE JILL CAME. I HAVE THREE BOYS AS MARTHA MENTIONED. WE WERE THE TYPICAL ALL-AMERICAN FAMILY. I JUST LOVED BEING A MOTHER. AND I WAS PROBABLY THEIR BIGGEST CHEERLEADER. THEY WERE VERY ATHLETIC, VERY SMART. WE WERE AT ALL THE SCHOOL EVENTS, SOCCER GAMES, FOOTBALL, BASEBALL GAMES. I WAS CHEERING ON THE SIDELINE FOR THEM. I JUST COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE I WOULD RATHER BE OR BE DOING THAN TO BE CHEERING FOR MY CHILDREN. I THINK ONE OF THE FONDEST MEMORIES I HAVE OF OUR TIME BEFORE JILL WAS OUR BOYS ARE VERY COMPETITIVE, AND THEY WERE HURRY EVERY NIGHT AND GET THEIR HOMEWORK DONE AND THEY HAD TO BE READY FOR BED AND HAD TO HAVE THEIR HOMEWORK DONE BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO PLAY BOARD GAMES AS A FAMILY. WE PROBABLY PLAYED BOARD GAMES FIVE NIGHTS OUT OF SEVEN. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. EVERY GAME IMAGINABLE. OUR LIFE WAS VERY GOOD. I WAS VERY HAPPY WITH THREE BOYS. AND I WAS ABOUT READY TO TURN 40 AND FIGURED THERE WERE NO MORE CHILDREN COMING. I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO MY BOYS BEING IN SCHOOL. MY YOUNGEST HAD JUST STARTED SCHOOL AND JUST HAVING TIME TO PURSUE A LOT OF INTERESTS THAT I WANTED TO DO. BECAUSE I HAD SPENT SO MUCH TIME BEING INVOLVED IN MY BOYS' LIFE. THEN GOD SENT A LITTLE NAMED JILL IN JANUARY OF 1992. AND AT FIRST, EVERYTHING WAS PINK. EVERYTHING, RUFFLES AND BOWS AND THINGS WE HAD NEVER SEEN IN OUR HOUSE BEFORE. WE JUST LOVED IT. JILL IS THE ONLY GRANDDAUGHTER ON MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY. THERE ARE 10 GRANDSONS AND JILL IS THE ONLY GRANDDAUGHTER. SHE LITERALLY WAS THE PRINCESS OF THE FAMILY. BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED ONE DAY WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT THREE MONTHS OLD. I WAS CHANGING HER DIAPER AND I NOTICED A TREMOR IN ONE OF HER HANDS. I LOOKED AT IT. I DIDN'T THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT. I TOLD MY HUSBAND LO BEFORE HE LEFT FOR THE CHURCH. I SAID JILL DID SOMETHING WEIRD. IT ONLY LASTED FOR A FEW SECONDS. OH, BRENDA, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. THIS IS OUR FOURTH CHILD. BABIES DO FUNNY THINGS. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT AGAIN. UNTIL IT HAPPENED. THAT WAS TUESDAY. SATURDAY NIGHT, HE WAS IN A STUDY PUTTING THE LAST MINUTE TOUCHES ON HIS SERMON AND JILL DID IT AGAIN. THIS TIME, IT WAS ON HER OTHER SIDE AND IT LASTED A LOT LONGER. LONG ENOUGH TO GRAB A VIDEO CAMERA AND VIDEOTAPE WHAT WE WERE DOING. THAT WAS A SATURDAY NIGHT. WE WERE DUE TO GO INTO THE PEDIATRICIAN ON MONDAY. WE SHOWED IT TO THE PEDIATRICIAN. SHE SAID I THINK THESE ARE FOCAL SEIZURES. WHAT ARE FOCAL SEIZURES? COME TO FIND OUT, THEY'RE A SEIZURE THAT LANDS IN ONE PART OF THE BODY. IT CAN BE THE LEG, ARM, THEIR EYE. I THOUGHT, FINE. WE WILL GET A LITTLE BIT OF MEDICINE AND THIS THING WILL GO AWAY AND WE WILL FIX IT FOR GOOD. NO MATTER HOW MUCH MEDICINE WE GAVE JILL, SHE KEPT GETTING WORSE AND WORSE. SOMETIMES IT WOULD HIT HER ON ONE SIDE OF HER BODY, LEFT SIDE. NEXT TIME, IT WOULD BE HER ARMS AND LEGS ON HER RIGHT SIDE. AND I WAS DEVASTATED. I WAS DEVASTATED. THIS LITTLE GIRL I ALWAYS WANTED, HOW COULD THIS BE HAPPENING TO US? IT WAS JUST THE MOST PAINFUL THING I COULD EVER IMAGINE EXPERIENCING AS A MOTHER. OUR FUN FAMILY TIMES WERE ONLY NOW MEMORIES. THEY WERE REPLACED WITH GRIEF AND PAIN AND EXHAUSTION. LET ME TELL YOU WHAT IT IS LIKE TO HAVE A SPECIAL-NEEDS CHILD. EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. BUT THIS IS THE STORY OF MY DAUGHTER, JILL. MY DAUGHTER HAS TO TAKE FIVE TO 10 PILLS THREE TIMES A DAY TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY. SHE CANNOT DRESS HERSELF, SHE NEEDS HELP GOING UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS. SHE WEARS HARD PLASTIC ORTHOTICS ON HER FEET TO HELP HER WALK STRAIGHT. SHE CANNOT PLAY WITH OTHER CHILDREN HER AGE. SHE WEARS BOTH A HARNESS AND A SEAT BELT IN THE VAN. SHE NEEDS HELP GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND NEEDS SOMEONE TO BATHE HER. SHE FINDS SOMETHING FUNNY BUT COMMUNICATE TO OTHERS WHY IT IS FUNNY. MY DAUGHTER IS SURROUNDED BY TYPICAL CHILDREN AT SCHOOL THAT SHE CANNOT COMMUNICATE WITH. SHE DROOLS CONSTANTLY. WHEN MY DAUGHTER IS SICK, SHE HAS SEIZURES. IT CAN BE SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A COLD, WHICH IS EASY FOR OTHERS BUT FOR HER IT IS SERIES. SHE'S 15 AND STILL WEARS A DIAPER. SHE WEARS A TIGHT BRACE AROUND HER BODY FOR THE SCOLIOSIS . WHEN SHE HAS A SEIZURE IT IS SCARY FOR HER AND US. AND PAINFUL. AND SHE REACHES OUT SOMETIMES FOR SOMEONE TO HOLD HER HAND. SOMETIMES THIS HAPPENS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND NO ONE CAN HEAR HER, SO SHE GOES THROUGH ALONE. SHE CANNOT GO OUT MUCH DURING THE SUMMER, BECAUSE IF SHE GETS OVERHEATED SHE HAS SEIZURES. HER LEFT KNEE TURNS IN AND WALKS DIFFERENTLY THAN OTHER KIDS. MY DAUGHTER CANNOT RUN. PEOPLE CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHEN PEOPLE TELL HER WHAT SHE IS DOING IS WRONG. THERE ARE 40,000 CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS IN THE WASHINGTON METROPOLITAN AREA. I KNOW THAT IS HARD TO BELIEVE. I HAD NO IDEA ABOUT THIS UNTIL I WAS THROWN INTO THIS WORLD. AND IT HAS BEEN QUITE AN EDUCATION AND AN EXPERIENCE FOR ME. YOU KNOW, IN A HOME, WHEN A MOTHER IS DEALING WITH A SICK CHILD, IT SEEMS LIKE THE FAMILY STOPS MOVING OR AT LEAST WHEN YOU ARE THE MOTHER, THAT IS HOW IT FEELS. AND YOU KNOW, YOU CAN DO THAT FOR A WEEK OR TWO. WHEN THIS GOES ON 24-7 , IT IS JUST INCREDIBLE, THE IMPACT IT MAKES ON A FAMILY. YOU KNOW, NOTHING IN OUR LIVES WENT UNTOUCHED BY THIS GRIEF AND TEARS. SOME DAYS, I WONDERED IF I WOULD EVER STOP CRYING. AND BEING SAD. I REMEMBER CRYING IN THE SHOWER BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT MY BOYS TO KNOW I WAS IN SUCH PAIN AND I WAS HURTING SO MUCH. I WANTED THEM TO STILL THINK WE WERE A NORMAL FAMILY. YOU KNOW, THE TYPICAL AMERICAN FAMILY. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, THE IMPACT OF A DISABLED CHILD ON THE SIBLINGS IS UNBELIEVABLE. THEY OFTEN FEEL A SENSE OF REJECTION BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE TIME THEY USED TO HAVE WITH THEIR PARENTS. THEY EXPERIENCE THE LOSS, BUT THEY MIGHT NOT SAY IT. THEY MIGHT NOT TALK ABOUT IT. WE HAVE OUR FRIENDS TO TALK ABOUT IT, BUT WHAT CHILD IS GOING TO TALK TO THEIR PEERS ABOUT THEIR SISTER HAVING CONTINUAL SEIZURES? THEY'RE NOT. SO THEY HOLD IT IN. IT TAKES A TOLL ON MARRIAGES. WHEN THE ONLY THING YOU THINK ABOUT IS DEALING WITH A DISABILITY OR A SEIZURE OR WHATEVER, THERE ISN'T ANYTIME TO POUR INTO A MARRIAGE. DO YOU REALIZE THAT 80 TO 90% OF MARRIAGES THAT ARE DEALING WITH A CHILD WITH DISABILITY END IN DIVORCE? I DID NOT KNOW ALL THESE THINGS. BUT I'M LEARNING IT OVER 15 YEARS. THERE IS SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW, BUT I KEEP TRYING TO LEARN MORE AND MORE. YOU KNOW, THERE IS A LOSS OF DREAMS FOR WHAT WE HAVE ENVISIONED FOR OUR CHILD. WE ALL HAVE DREAMS FOR OUR CHILDREN. BUT WHEN YOU HAVE A SEVERELY DISABLED CHILD, THINK ABOUT THE LOSSES. I HAD DREAMS FOR MY DAUGHTER THAT SHE WOULD HAVE GIRLFRIENDS THAT COME OVER TO THE HOUSE AND GIGGLE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. I HAD DREAMS OF MOTHER AND DAUGHTER SHOPPING TRIPS, OF BALLET CLASSES AND SOCCER GAMES. GRADUATING FROM HIGH SCHOOL, GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE, AND EVEN THE LOSS OF MY HUSBAND LON WALKING MY DAUGHTER JILL DOWN THE AISLE WHEN SHE GETS MARRIED. THE LOSSES ARE ENDLESS. THEY DON'T STOP. I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THEY DON'T STOP. I DIDN'T KNOW ALL THESE THINS UNTIL I WAS EXPERIENCING THEM. OUR TIME NOW IS CONSUMED WITH DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENTS HEALTH ISSUES, SEIZURES, THERAPIST APPOINTMENTS, AND 24-7 CARE OF A CHILD THAT WOULD NEVER BE INDEPENDENT. THERE WERE DAYS I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SMILE AGAIN. I AM NOT TELLING YOU THESE -- THIS DESCRIPTION OF MY DAUGHTER TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME. BECAUSE I JUST WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE EDUCATED ME BEFORE I HAD JILL SO I COULD HAVE MADE AN IMPACT ON THIS COMMUNITY. THERE IS SO MUCH WE CAN DO FOR THIS COMMUNITY. IF WE JUST REACH OUT TO THEM AND LEARN, TRY TO LEARN. YOU KNOW, MANY TIMES, I WOULD ASK GOD, WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHY WON'T YOU STOP THESE SEIZURES? WHAT CAN ANYTHING LIKE THIS WORK OUT? HOW CAN ANYTHING LIKE THIS WORK OUT FOR GOOD? I JUST COULDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW I WAS GOING TO DEAL WITH THIS AND HOW GOOD WAS GOING TO COME FROM IT. ONE DAY, JILL, SHE WAS ABOUT TWO AND A HALF. AND EVERY DAY WAS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER DAY. THE HOUSE WASN'T GETTING CLEANED. I WISH I HAD BOUGHT STOCK IN MCDONALD'S BECAUSE WE ATE FROM THERE MORE THAN I COOKED. SHE WAS ON THE FLOOR HAVING ANOTHER SEIZURE. THE KIDS HAD GONE OFF TO SCHOOL AND LON HAD GONE OFF TO THE OFFICE. I SAT THERE IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS, CRYING OUT TO GOD, SAYING GOD, YOU HAVE GOT TO STEP IN AND DO SOMETHING. I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. I THROW UP MY HANDS AND I RELEASE JILL TO YOU. YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING. PLEASE BRING SOMETHING GOOD OUT OF THIS. DON'T WASTE THIS PAIN. BECAUSE IT IS TOO PAINFUL TO WASTE. THAT STARTED TO BE MY PRAYER EVERY DAY. GOD, JUST USE THIS IN MY LIFE. USE IT TO CHANGE ME, TO CHANGE MY HUSBAND, AND TO HELP JUST ALLOWING JILL TO BE USED HOWEVER YOU WANT. I CRIED OUT TO GOD, AND THAT DAY -- I KNOW YOU ALL WILL HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING THIS, BUT GOD STEPPED INTO MY LIFE IN A MIGHTY WAY. A LADY CALLED ME OUT OF THE BLUE. I HAD NEVER MET THIS LADY. SHE CALLED ME UP. SHE SAID YOU DON'T KNOW ME, BUT I KNOW YOU, AND I KNOW YOUR STORY. SHE SAID GOD TOLD ME TO CALL YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT I'M CALLING YOU. MAYBE IT IS JUST TO BE YOUR FRIEND. WE TALKED. I CRIED MOST OF THE TIME. SHE TALKED FOR TWO AND A HALF HOURS. SHE SAID CAN I COME OVER AND VISIT YOU? I WOULD LIKE TO MEET YOU. I WOULD LIKE TO MEET JILL. SHE CAME INTO MY HOME A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER AND SHE STAYED FOR A WHILE. THEN SHE SAID I'LL BE BACK. I THINK I KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS ME TO DO FOR YOU. SHE SAID -- SHE CALLED ME UP LATER, SHE SAID BRENDA, I'M GOING TO FORM A GROUP OF PEOPLE AROUND YOU, AND THEY'RE GOING TO PRAY FOR YOU. EVERY MONTH, I WANT A PRAYER LETTER FROM YO LISTING WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH, WITH JILL, AND THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HOLD YOU UP IN PRAYER. THIS IS WHEN JILL WAS TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLD. SHE'S NOW 15. THESE PEOPLE ARE STILL INVOLVED IN OUR LIFE IN A MIGHTY WAY. NOT ONLY DID THEY PRAY FOR US, THEY SAID WE WANT TO HELP YOU HAVE A CAREGIVER IN YOUR HOME. SO YOU ALL CAN GET A BREAK. TWO AND A HALF YEARS IS ENOUGH. YOU NEED A BREAK. YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU. AND THAT IS WHERE SHE TAUGHT ME THE VALUE OF RESPITE. THE TERM FOR RESPITE IS REALLY JUST A GIFT OF TIME. BUT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT. I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE NEEDED THAT. BUT WE ALL NEED A BREAK. WE CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. WE ALL LOOK FORWARD TO A WEEK OF VACATION OR A TIME-OUT TO DINNER WITH OUR HUSBAND OR WIVES. WE ALL NEED A BREAK FROM WHATEVER STRESS WE'RE DEALING WITH EACH DAY. THESE PARENTS ARE IN A MARATHON, AND THESE PARENTS NEED OUR HELP. WE STARTED TO GET A LITTLE REST ONCE WE GOT A CAREGIVER. WE STARTED TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. WE DIDN'T SLEEP BUT -- WE REALLY DIDN'T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT FOR EIGHT YEARS BECAUSE JILL KEPT HAVING SEIZURES. BUT WE WOULD GET REST DURING THE DAY WHEN THE CAREGIVER WAS THERE. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE A NEWBORN BABY AND YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR THEM TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. I NEVER ENVISIONED IT WOULD BE EIGHT YEARS OF SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. I KNEW, AS I STARTED TO GET REST, I KNEW MY LIFE WOULD NEVER BE LIKE IT WAS BEFORE. WE WERE IN A NEW NORMAL NOW. AND I HAD TO FIGURE OUT, WITH GOD'S HELP, HOW WAS I GOING TO LIVE IN THIS NEW LIFE. ONCE I GOT A CAREGIVER, I STARTED TO SEE A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. I COULD START TO MAKE BETTER DECISIONS. YOU KNOW, WE HAVE BIG DECISIONS EVERYDAY TO MAKE. WHEN YOU ARE STRESSED OUT, YOU CAN'T MAKE GOOD DECISIONS. WHEN YOU ARE EXHAUSTED, YOU JUST CAN'T MAKE GOOD DECISIONS. SO ONCE I CRIED OUT TO GOD AND I KNEW GOD HAD COME IN AND TRULY ANSWERED MY PRAYER THAT DAY, IT WAS SO MIRACULOUS. I HAD TO START PRAYING EVERY DAY, LORD, PLEASE JUST LET ME KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH TODAY. LORD, PLEASE LET ME KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE. NOW, I KNEW HE WAS THERE. I KNEW THAT. I WANTED HIM TO SHOW ME. I WANTED HIM, IN SOME WAY, JUST TO SAY BRENDA, I LOVE YOU. I WANT YOU TO KNOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. TRUST ME, I WILL DO SOMETHING GOOD FROM THIS. I DIDN'T MENTION EARLIER, BUT WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH JILL, GOD HAD GIVEN ME A VERSE. ISAIAH 41:10. IT GOES LIKE THIS. FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH YOU. BE NOT DISMAYED FOR I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU. I WILL HELP YOU. I WILL WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND. I DIDN'T KNOW WHY I COULDN'T SHAKE THAT VERSE. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I KNEW WHY. GOD HAD PROMISED. I KNEW HE WAS NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS AWAY, JILL'S PROBLEMS AWAY. I KNEW WHATEVER WE WERE GOING TO FACE HE WAS GOING TO BE THERE TO HELP ME AND STRENGTHEN ME AND HOLD ME UP. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH DURING THESE PAST 15 YEARS. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT GOD'S FAITHFULNESS. I HAVE SEEN IT IN MY BOYS' LIFE. I DON'T KNOW HOW MY BOYS GOT TO WHERE THEY ARE TODAY, HONESTLY. BECAUSE I THINK IN SO MANY WAYS I WAS AN ABSENT PARENT. NOT BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE, BUT BECAUSE OF JUST THE DEMANDS JILL MADE ON OUR LIVES. HE TOOK CARE OF MY BOYS. MY OLDEST BOY NOW IS A NAVY DOCTOR. HE HAS TWO CHILDREN. THAT IS OUR GRANDCHILDREN. SUCH A BLESSING IN OUR LIFE. MY OTHER SON IS AN ATTORNEY IN CHICAGO. OUR YOUNGEST SON IS AT JOHNS HOPKINS. AND LOVES THE LORD DEARLY. AND THEY LOVE THEIR SISTER. I HAD TWO PRAYERS FOR MY BOY WHEN JILL CAME INTO OUR LIFE. I PRAYED EVERY DAY, GOD HELP THEM NOT TO HATE THEIR SISTER BECAUSE OF ALL THE ATTENTION SHE DEMANDS. AND SECONDLY I PRAYED GOD, HELP THEM NOT TO HATE YOU. HELP THEM NOT TO TURN THEIR BACK ON YOU AND BLAME YOU FOR WHAT JILL IS TODAY. AND I LOOK BACK NOW, AND GOD TOTALLY ANSWERED THAT PRAYER. THE BOYS ARE DOING REALLY WELL. THEY LOVE THE LORD AND THEY LOVE THEIR SISTER. OUR SON JOHN COMES HOME FROM COLLEGE. THE FIRST THING HE DOES, WE HAVE A BIG OTTOMAN. AND NOBODY ELSE WILL SIT ON IT. MY GRANDSON TRIES TO SIT ON IT AND SHE WILL PUSH HIM. WHEN SHE'S LAYING THERE, JOHN WILL COME OVER AND KISS HER AND SAY HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS AND HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER. WHAT 22-YEAR-OLD DO YOU KNOW THAT WOULD DO THAT? MOST OTHER TIMES, THEY'RE VERY INTO WHAT THEY'RE DOING. BUT GOD ANSWERED OUR PRAYER. I'M SO THANKFUL. I AM A BLESSED WOMAN. YOU KNOW, I HAD TO GO BACK TO A STORE HOUSE OF BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES THAT GOD TAUGHT ME OVER THE YEAR. I HAD TO LEARN I HAD TO CLAIM THE PROMISES HE MADE TO ME. ONE VERSE IS JEREMIAH 29:11. I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU. PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU. YOU KNOW, WHAT A PROMISE. I CLAIMED THAT PROMISE. I KNOW EVEN THOUGH I COULDN'T SEE IT, I KNEW GOD WAS DOING SOMETHING REALLY BIG THROUGH THIS LITTLE GIRL'S LIFE. THERE IS ANOTHER VERSE THAT SAYS ISAIAH 55:8, FOR MY THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS NEITHER ARE MY WAYS YOUR WAYS DECLARES THE LORD. AS THE HEAVENS ARE HIGHER THAN THE EARTH, SO ARE MY WAYS HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS AND MY THOUGHTS THAN YOUR THOUGHTS. I CAN'T SEE WHAT GOD'S DOING, BUT HE'S DOING SOMETHING BIG. I HAVE SEEN IT -- WE STARTED A MINISTRY AT MCCLEAN BIBLE CHURCH. 1996 WE STARTED A PROGRAM CALLED ACCESS. WE STARTED WITH FOUR CHILDREN, JILL WAS ONE OF THEM. IT HAS GROWN TO OVER 500 FAMILIES THAT WE MINISTER TO THAT HAVE CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES. WHAT WE OFFER THEM ARE CHURCH AND COMMUNITY-BASED PROGRAMS, WHICH INCLUDE SUNDAY SCHOOL. WE OFFER PARENT SUPPORT AND TRAINING SESSIONS FOR THESE PARENTS. WE HAVE SUMMER CAMP FOR FOUR WEEKS IN THE SUMMER FOR THE MONTH OF JULY. WE HAVE SIBLING EVENTS AND WE HAVE RESPITE CARE. APPROXIMATELY 60% OF THESE FAMILIES DO NOT ATTEND OUR CHURCH. THEY'RE JUST FROM THE COMMUNITY. AND WE FEEL THIS IS OUR GIFT TO THE COMMUNITY. WE WANT TO DO THIS. WE UNDERSTAND THE FAMILIES IN OUR COMMUNITY NEED OUR HELP. BUT WE HAVE BIGGER DREAMS. FROM LIVING WITH JILL AND GOD'S BEEN SO GOOD TO US TO GIVE US A CAREGIVER, I UNDERSTAND THE BENEFITS OF RESPITE. THAT IS HOW WE COME TO JILL'S HOUSE. JILL'S HOUSE IS GOING TO BE AN OVERNIGHT RESPITE AND THERAPY CENTER WHERE WHEN PARENTS NEED TO CHECK THEIR CHILD INTO -- BECAUSE THEY NEED A BREAK, AND THEY JUST NEED TO SPEND TIME WITH THEIR OTHER CHILDREN AND GIVE THEM THE ATTENTION THEY NEED. THEY CAN CALL UP JILL'S HOUSE AND GET A ROOM THIS. THIS WILL BE A PLACE WHERE THESE CHILDREN WILL BE LOVED, AND CARED FOR IN THE MOST EXCELLENT WAY. YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A DVD, AND THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST TIME TO SHOW IT. IT IS JUST A SHORT ONE. I THINK IT CAN EXPLAIN ABOUT JILL'S HOUSE MUCH BETTER THAN I CAN. IF YOU GIVE ME THREE MINUTES AND WATCH THIS DVD. (VIDEO PLAYING; AUDIO INAUDIBLE). . >> I HOPE THAT EXPLAINED IT A LITTLE BIT, WHAT WE ENVISION JILL'S HOUSE TO BE. MAYBE THAT IS WHY ONE OF JILL'S MANY PURPOSES. BUT I THINK ONE OF THE BIGGEST THINGS IS JILL WAS SENT TO CHANGE ME AND TO CHANGE MY HUSBAND TO OPEN OUR EYES TO THE DISABILITY COMMUNITY. I WANT TO HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THAT COMMUNITY. I AM ABLE TO STAND HERE TODAY FOR ONE REASON ONLY. AND THAT IS BECAUSE THE LORD HAS GIVEN ME THE STRENGTH TO DO IT. JILL IS 15 NOW, SEVERELY DISABLED, BOTH MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN NO LONGER LOOK THE OTHER WAY. JILL HAS TAUGHT ME SO MUCH. I NEED TO USE IT TO HELP THE DISABILITY COMMUNITY. YOU KNOW, WE CAN'T FIX THESE CHILDREN'S LIVES. BUT WE CAN MAKE THEIR LIFE EASIER. AND WE, AS A COMMUNITY, CAN HELP CARRY THEIR BURDEN. THAT IS WHAT RESPITE IS ALL ABOUT. IT IS NOT GRAND, BUT IT IS PROFOUND. GIVING PARENTS A BREAK WILL MAKE THEM BETTER CAREGIVERS FOR THESE SPECIAL CHILDREN. THEY'RE IN A MARATHON, AND THEY NEED US TO HELP. PLEASE, LET'S NOT LOOK AWAY ANY LONGER. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. (APPLAUSE). >> I THINK WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A QUESTION-AND-ANSWER TIME. >> WE HAVE TIME. IT IS ONLY 12:35. IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION, RAISE YOUR HAND. IF SOMEBODY ELSE WOULD LIKE TO VOLUNTEER WITH THE OTHER MIC ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM THAT WOULD BE GREAT. >> I HAVE A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS. MY HUSBAND IS DISABLED. PHYSICALLY AND NOT MENTALLY. I AM WONDERING -- DO YOU TAKE PHYSICALLY DISABLED OR MENTALLY DISABLED OR BOTH OR WHAT? THAT IS THE FIRST QUESTION I HAVE? >> WELL, I THINK WE WILL TAKE BOTH. I THINK THERE WILL BE A LIMIT TO HOW SEVERE OF A CHILD WE CAN TAKE INTO JILL'S HOUSE. >> AT JILL'S HOUSE. >> WE HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. THE MINISTRIES THAT WE HAVE NOW AT THE CHURCH, WE HAVE EVERY SORT OF DISABILITY. AS LONG AS WE ARE ASSURED THAT THEY'RE GOING TO GET THE BEST CARE POSSIBLE. WE WOULD NEVER WANT TO JEOPARDIZE THAT. >> RIGHT. I GUESS MY SECOND QUESTION, I SAW IT -- I MEAN, IT SEEMS LIKE SUCH A GREAT CONCEPT. WOULD YOU EXPECT THAT SOME CHILDREN MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM BEING LIKE ALMOST ABRUPTLY TAKEN TO ANOTHER PLACE OVERNIGHT WITH CAREGIVERS THEY'RE NOT USED TO? I WONDERED IF YOU HAD CONSIDERED THAT. ALSO, DID YOU THINK RESPITE CARE IN THE HOME WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. I THINK SOME OF THOSE SERVICES MIGHT BE AVAILABLE FOR ELDER CARE, AS A MATTER OF FACT, IN DIFFERENT COMMUNITIES. >> THAT IS A REALLY GOOD QUESTION. WE HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. THE ONE THING WITH THE DISABILITY COMMUNITY, IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS ALWAYS CHANGING, AND THE NEEDS OF THE FAMILY ARE DIFFERENT. ONE ASPECT OF JILL'S HOUSE I DIDN'T MENTION IS THAT WE ARE GOING TO TRAIN CAREGIVERS. BECAUSE WHEN JILL WAS FIRST HAVING SEIZURES, PROBABLY UNTIL SHE WAS FIVE OR SIX OR SEVEN EVEN, I WOULD WANT CARE IN THE HOME. SO WE'RE GOING TO TRAIN CAREGIVERS THAT WILL BE ABLE TO GO. IF PARENTS WOULD PREFER THEIR CHILD TO HAVE CARE IN THE HOME, THEN WE CA SUPPLY THAT. WE REALIZE THERE IS TWO SIDES. ONE IS TRAINING CAREGIVERS TO GO OUT INTO THE COMMUNITY INTO THE HOME. IF THE PARENTS PREFER, WE CAN DO IT AT JILL'S HOUSE. RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE WHERE MY DAUGHTER IS, SHE PROBABLY WILL NEVER GET TO USE JILL'S HOUSE BECAUSE I THINK RIGHT NOW THE CUTOFF WILL PROBABLY BE 18. BY THE TIME WE GET THE BUILDING BUILT, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER. WE STILL NEED TO DO THIS FOR THE FAMILIES THAT HAVE DISABLED CHILDREN. I WOULD LIKE JILL TO HAVE PLACES TO GO. YOU KNOW, I FEEL BAD FOR HER. SO MANY TIMES SHE JUST STAYS AT HOME. NOT MANY PLACES I CAN TAKE HER ESPECIALLY IN THE SUMMERTIME WHEN IT IS HOT. WE TAKE HER TO THE MALL AND WALK AROUND THERE. I WOULD LOVE FOR THERE TO BE A JILL'S HOUSE, A SWIMMING POOL, A GYM, AND WE'RE PLANNING AN INDOOR PLAYGROUND. BECAUSE SO MANY OF THE CHILDREN ARE SENSITIVE TO TEMERATURE. I THINK PARENTS WILL WANT DIFFERENT THINGS AND AS MUCH AS WE CAN, WE WILL TRY TO MEET THE NEED. >> I THINK THESE ARE GOOD IDEAS. I GUESS THE QUESTION CENTERED UPON DID YOU THINK SOME CHILDREN MIGHT HAVE TROUBLE ADJUSTING IF TAKEN TO A DIFFERENT PLACE. >> WE'RE HOPING AS MUCH AS IN THEIR POWER THAT THEY WOULD HAVE THE SAME CAREGIVER IN JILL'S HOUSE, IN THE SAME ROOM. I KNOW MY DAUGHTER, SHE LIKES THE ROUTINE, SHE LIKES THE SAME. AND WE UNDERSTAND THAT MOST KIDS LIKE THAT. SO HOPEFULLY WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO THAT. I THINK IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT. >> I WOULD THINK SO TOO. EVEN WITH THE RESPITE CARE IN THE HOME, YOU WOULD WANT SAMENESS, TO GET USED TO THE SAME PERSON COMING AND SO FORTH. THANK YOU. >> YOU'RE WELCOME. >> DO YOU ACCEPT (INAUDIBLE) OVER WEEKEND. >> PARDON ME? >> DO YOU ACCEPT VOLUNTEERS COME AND HELP IN THIS HOUSE? >> VOLUNTEERS. YES, WE DO. WE HAVE A BIG STAFF OF VOLUNTEERS. WE'RE ALWAYS HAPPY TO GET VOLUNTEERS FOR ACCESS. AND DEFINITELY AT JILL'S HOUSE. WE WILL -- WE KNOW A LOT OF DENTISTS AND NURSES AND THERAPISTS THAT WANT TO USE THEIR SPECIAL GIFTS AND TALENTS AT JILL'S HOUSE. SO THEY WILL WANT TO VOLUNTEER THEIR TIME, YES. WE ARE A 501(C)(3) NONPROFIT. AND MOST NONPROFITS COULD NEVER MAKE IT WITHOUT VOLUNTEERS. WE WILL NEED IT TOO. >> I MISSED YOUR OPENING REMARKS. I WAS WONDERING HOW JILL'S HOUSE IS BEING FUNDED. ARE YOU PAYING -- >> WE'RE IN A CAPITAL CAMPAIGN RIGHT NOW, PRETTY AGGRESSIVE CAPITAL CAMPAIGN. AND HOPING TO RAISE $10 MILLION. OUR DREAM IS TO HAVE THE BUILDING UP BY 2008 AND OPENING THE DOORS SOMETIME BY THE END OF THAT YEAR. AND WE ARE CONTACTING COMPANIES, MEETING WITH CEOs OR WHOEVER, FOUNDATIONS, WE'RE GETTING SOME GRANTS. INDIVIDUALS. ANYONE WHO HAS A HEART FOR THIS KIND OF A THING. THAT IS WHAT WE'RE GOING TO GO AFTER. BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IN IT SO MUCH. I THINK -- YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU HAVE HEALTHY PARENTS, YOU HAVE HEALTHY FAMILIES. AND HEALTHY FAMILIES MAKE GOOD COMMUNITIES. I MEAN, IT IS SORT OF LIKE A DOMINO EFFECT. WE WANT TO COME AROUND THE FAMILIES. WE SO BELIEVE IN WHAT WE'RE DOING. IT IS OUR PASSION. WE WILL GO OUT AND FIND THE MONEY SOMEWHERE. >> ANY OTHER HANDS UP FOR ANYTHING? ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? WELL, IF NOT THEN, I WANT TO EXTEND A HEART-FELT APPLAUSE FOR BRENDA. (APPLAUSE). >> AND I WANT TO THANK MARTHA, TOO, FOR ALLOWING US TO PARTNER WITH THE APPLAUD GROUP. IT'S OUR FIRST TIME WITH OUR CHRISTIAN BRG PARTNERING WITH THE APPLAUD BRG. I THINK IT IS A GREAT SUCCESS. ANYTHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SAY, MARTHA, ABOUT YOUR GROUP OR UPCOMING EVENTS. >> IS THIS WORKING? OKAY. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I FORGOT TO MENTION A THANK YOU. THANK YOU AGAIN, BRENDA. IT IS WONDERFUL. I WAS BALLING MY EYES OUT BECAUSE I WAS RELATING ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS. SO THANK YOU FOR COMING. I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU FOR ROB FOR COMING FORWARD WITH THIS OPPORTUNITY. AND ALSO TO TOM FENLY WHO MANY OF YOU KNOW AND IS NOT HERE TODAY BECAUSE HIS SON IS IN CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL BECAUSE HE'S HAVING TROUBLE WITH SEIZURES. HIS SON HAS A SYNDROME AND I BELIEVE HE'S SIX. HE'S AN INCREDIBLE CHILD. HE'S HAVING TROUBLE GOING FROM ONE MEDICATION TO ANOTHER. HE'S AT CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL TAKING CARE OF HIS SON. AGAIN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. APPLAUD, WE'RE NOT PEOPLE JUST WORKING WITH PARENTS AND RELATIVES, WE'RE ALSO PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES. SO WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU COME. WE MEET -- WE'RE CURRENTLY MEETING ONCE A MONTH. OUR NEXT MEETING IS NEXT THURSDAY MORNING AT9:00 A.M.. WE PROVIDE BREAKFAST. WE USUALLY HAVE GOOD STUFF. IF YOU WANT TO HAVE BREAKFAST WITH US AND FIND OUT WHAT WE'RE DOING. IF YOU WANT TO GET ADDED TO OUR DISTRIBUTION, JUST LET ME KNOW. IT IS A LISTSERV. I AM NOT USED TO THE EXCHANGE MAIL. WE WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET THE INFORMATION ABOUT OUR GROUP. LOTS OF INFORMATION ON THE BACK TABLE ABOUT JILL'S HOUSE. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THAT, SOMEONE ASKED ABOUT VOLUNTEERS, IF YOU HAVE BEEN INSPIRED TO VOLUNTEER THROUGH ACCESS MINISTRIES OR TO THE FUTURE JILL'S HOUSE, GET MORE INFORMATION ABOUT IT. THE WEBSITE IS UP THERE. YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT IT. IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, YOU CAN CONTACT ME OR ROB WITH CHRISTIANS AT AOL. I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU AGAIN. (APPLAUSE). >> I KNOW YOU HAVE PROBABLY ALL HAVE MEETINGS AT 1:00 AGAIN. WE HAVE 15 MINUTES. FEEL FREE TO MINGLE, EAT MORE FOOD. AS I MENTIONED THE JILL'S HOUSE TABLE IS ON THE LEFT IF YOU WANT TO VIEW IT. MAY 22ND IS OUR NEXT CHRISTIANS AT AOL EVENT IF YOU WANT TO COME. THERE WILL BE A SPEAKER ON MARRIAGE.